Things I Used to Wear: Part 2
Here I am again, sharing my ugly clothing with you. Why am I doing this? you might ask. Three reasons: One, I wanted some funny material to post; Two, I categorize this as mildly amusing material; and Three, through sharing and laughing at myself, I can heal the deep wounds that bad fashions have inflicted on me from an early age.
Next up: This dark periwinkle polo with cinched bottom waist band.
Ok, maybe this doesn’t look so bad, but please, read on. I got this at Value Village, which is a giant thrift store in Tigard, Oregon. Most of my high school classmates used Value Village for it’s large selection of obscure kids’ T-shirts, like Jacksonville Panthers Little League #23 or Northern Washington Girl Scout Camp: Camping is Fun!
I chose to rise above and beyond the used T-shirt fad to shop in the regular clothes section for unusual pieces. Ok I’m lying. I didn’t rise above anything: I always looked in the women’s clothing because I had been shopping at Value Village since I was 10 or so, when I was required to go with my grandparents because it was one of two major Places of Interest to Visit While in Portland. The other place was/is Cub Foods, which is now WinCo, a discount grocery store that hosts an impressive bulk foods section.
Anyway, I don’t know what I’m saying. THIS SHIRT was too big for me, but I had an earnest passion for polo shirts and this fit the bill close enough. Sadly, it took several years before I realized that a passion for collared shirts has a high comorbidity with gayness. Much time and effort could have been saved had I been informed of this early on, but alas, that was not the case.
More importantly, the curious feature of this shirt in the bottom. The bottom has a wide stretchy band that hugs the hips whilst the upper material billows away from the body. Similarly, my arms filled out approximately one-half of the shirt sleeves, if you can imagine, which means that the sleeves were also slightly billowy. I still cannot figure the purpose of the tight band of fabric at the bottom. The only thing I can say is that it was definitely “vintage” and was a product of the 80s, somewhere. Maybe Kentucky. No offense Kentucky.
Unfortunately, I have no amusing stories about this particular shirt, probably because if anyone ever insulted me while wearing it, they disguised it as a weird compliment, like in Mean Girls. (“I love that skirt! Where did you get it?!”) Furthermore, what is the motivation that makes anyone choose to wear anything?! It is so difficult to pinpoint the precise series of decisions that lead me to not only purchase, but wear this shirt multiple times over several years. What I do remember is that my mom HATED IT, which probably just made me love it more.
Also, did I wear this in college sometimes? I hope not, but I don’t remember. Please say no.
