January 2011
4 posts
“Well I’ve been to a rodeo too. It was a cat rodeo. In a gay guy’s...”
– Liz Lemon
“We’re always lucky,” I said and like a fool I did not knock on wood....”
– A Moveable Feast, Hemingway
July 2009
2 posts
“Another Poem:
I wish I were taller
And had perfect legs
And had easier hair...”
– From Ellen’s 1995 book “My Point… And I Do Have One”
June 2009
7 posts
“But the irony and the twist of it, the poetry of the project is that no matter...”
– Pharrell via Eat Me Daily
Vexillology
the scholarly study of flags.
HOW MANY TIMES...
AM I GOING TO SIT ON A CHOCOLATE COOKIE OR MUFFIN AND NOT REALIZE IT UNTIL MUCH LATER, WHEN IT HAS BEEN SMASHED AND/OR MELTED INTO THE FABRIC AND LOOKS LIKE CRUSTY FECES ON THE ASS OF MY PANTS?!
Three and counting.
“My family thinks I am mad,” he said. “But it’s perfect for me.”
– And that’s all that matters. @Telegraph.
Blood Boiler of the Day: Ann Coulter on liberals,... →
According to recent polling, a majority of Americans oppose abortion — which is consistent with liberals’ hysterical refusal to allow us to vote on the subject. In a country with approximately 150 million pro-lifers, five abortionists have been killed since Roe v. Wade.
In that same 36 years, more than 49 million babies have been killed by abortionists. Let’s recap that halftime score, sports...
Pondering Google, Facebook And Wasting Time →
By Andre Codrescu
(Originally appeared on All Things Considered, 6/2/2009)
When she was 10, my wife, Laura, belonged to a junior librarian club whose motto was, “We never guess; we look it up!” Bless their little hearts. Her club came up when I was complaining about the tons of e-mail I get asking questions people can look up. I thought about signing off with, “Don’t ask...
May 2009
1 post
Rejecting the Rejection
The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer, just send them the following:
To Whom It May Concern:
Thank you for your letter of [date of the rejection letter]. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment at this time. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of...
April 2009
7 posts
And the Pursuit of Happiness by Maira Kalman →
May It Please the Court is a really original and inspiring narrative. I’ve been feeling pretty emo lately which is probably why I like this so much, but Ms. Kalman has put together a fantastic piece. Read it and be inspired to travel and experience things and record them in new ways.
My favorite part:
“And then there is Susan B. Anthony. She also challenged the law because she...
“Dragons!”
– In response to the rhetorical question posed by my Biology professor, “What other animal makes fire besides us?” He had to ask.
i love a good hampshire college joke
gimmick:
Then why haven’t there been more openly gay SNL cast members?
Amy Poehler - That’s a really good question, but I don’t know. Someone should pick that up as a thesis at Hampshire College.
Amy Poehler Advocate Interview
Finally, how can I bag a man like your husband, Will Arnett? AP: Just go up to a big guy, cough a little, and say “Carry me” in a baby voice....
NEW***Acai Patch with Green Tea! →
For weight loss? This is too weird, I needed to pass it on. Also, that yellow shirt is from H&M.
“History has always belonged to the people who controlled whatever present there...”
– Howard Zinn, Failure to Quit
March 2009
8 posts
There's never been a better time to join the NRA →
Consider the benefits of Lifetime Membership… a Charlton Heston Commemorative Knife!
Hi Dear
Why do I love these terrible scam emails so much?! Your father had $9 million saved up to buy a cocoa processing machine? Jesus, those things are expensive. I like how they emphasize the holiness of their mission with a lot of God talk. This email isn’t so bad, but some of the other ones are really preachy and weird. WHO FALLS FOR THIS. (Besides Michael Scott… did you see “The...
Rant #1
this crazy guy that sometimes rides the same bus i do sat next to me this morning. i always avoid eye contact with him bc he is clearly a nutjob, but somehow that wasn’t enough today. he sat down and said, “i don’t usually tell people this, but i like the smell of your perfume.” omg. at first i said, “i’m not wearing any perfume!” but he didn’t...
“March, April and May are the worst months in New England. You wait for all those...”
– -The Good Doctor
(um, ditto. also, for a more accurate weather report, click here, via simone.)
Rachel Ray Defends FHM Shoot: "I'd Do It Again... →
Rachel Ray did a somewhat provocative photo shoot for FHM (For Him Magazine). WEIRD.
The pictures are NOT HOT. I’m not a fan of Ray Ray, but I don’t think they could have made her less attractive. Also, I don’t like seeing Rachel Ray kiss strawberries.
In the ABC story, they also mention how she’s the new spokeswoman for Dunkin’ Donuts. Apparently, Anthony Bourdain...
February 2009
10 posts
Why women can't read maps →
“Researchers believe the reason the sexes differ is because of their specific roles in evolution.
Men had to hunt and stalk their prey, so became skilled at navigation, while women foraged for food and became good at spotting fruit and nuts close by.”
First of all, I didn’t know this was a thing because I can read maps and most of the females I know don’t have a...
WatchBristol Palin interview with Greta Van Susteren on Fox News.
What a train wreck. It’s unclear how this interview ever seemed like a good idea. Bristol is clearly just your average selfish, immature teenager who has very little foresight, no knowledge of political rhetoric and nothing but her own experience to speak on. And now she has a baby. Awesome.
Being a teen mom is not new, nor is...
To the woman that crapped in my car... (NE...
(Portland Craigslist post forwarded to me by my father)
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there...
WatchEven more craziness. This CNN vid paints Nadya as a complete loon, but after hearing about the living conditions… YIKES. It sounds like Child Protective Services will be paying them a visit very soon.
Also, what is the grandmother’s deal?! I hate that she is talking shit about her daughter’s life choices on national television. If you think she’s such a fool, THEN KICK HER...
Watchshe is a nut case. there is no way around it.
also, does she kind of look like a younger michael jackson? that nose is too small for her face. she should take it back.
“The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere. That...”
– Anne Morrow Lindbergh, “Gift from the Sea”
January 2009
19 posts
CBS This Morning Discovers the Snuggie →
What?!?! Why is the Snuggie taking over the world? The infomercial is outrageous. Fleecy propaganda!
Commuter Haiku
Snow fell in my eyes.
What the fuck, I asked myself.
Offices are LAME.
How much do I love mashups?
Muchly.
Justice vs....
Weird Freecycle
WANTED: Wooden Skis (Burlington)
Posted by: “aixfreak” aixfreak@yahoo.com aixfreak
Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:13 am (PST)
Looking for wooden skis, do not need bindings, just the ski!!!
WANTED: Magnadoodle (JP)
Posted by: “Laurie” wolfe.laurie@gmail.com tousencore
Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:12 am (PST)
I am looking for a...
“How do our families know how to push our buttons so well? Because they installed...”
– My cousin, Amy. So wise.
“Lady, you are hell and gone from fucking New Jersey.”
– Julie & Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell. Thought it fit the day’s mood well.
"Oh, Jesus Christ!"
I never thought I would be one of those people who have sudden, inappropriate outbursts in public. In front of children. Early in the morning.
Apparently, I don’t know myself very well.
There is a specific route I like to take to work, which involves walking down a narrow pathway created by the construction crew that inhabits part of the block. In the walkway, there is barely room for two...
